the biggie to my smalls

ALEXIS COOPER. The most beautiful, smartest, amazing, genuine person I've ever met. If you'll recall from my last post, Coop was quickly becoming one of my best friends at Utah State. She gave me lots of advice I needed to hear my first year of school. She would take me to lunch when I was sad and needed a boost. As the time to get bigs got closer, I was more and more certain that I wanted Coop as my big.

Before I continue. What is a big? A big is a mentor, a friend, a sister. Different people have different relationships with their big. Some people are best friends with their big, others just call them when they need a study buddy, some hardly talk to theirs after they've gotten on their own feet in the chapter. They teach their littles all they need to know before being initiated. But it all starts with the ~big little reveal~

I know you've seen the videos on social media of girls finding out who their big is. And as much as I made fun of those videos, mine ended up being the poster child of 'screeching sorority girl finds out who her big is.'

I cried. I literally cried lol. I was SO HAPPY TO HAVE HER AS MY BIG!! If you're wondering why I look so shocked to get her as my big, it's because I was.

After WEEKS of talking to her every day, we had a Snapchat streak, I saw her multiple times a week. Then the week of reveal rolled around.

Radio silence. The only thing she said to me that week was "I need to be honest with you, I'm not getting a little this semester." I went home from school that day and BAWLED my eyes out. I had been telling her how badly I wanted her as a big and she had told me she wanted me as a little, too. I was so confused as to why she decided not to get one.

I WAS BAMBOOZLED. Obviously she ended up being my big lol. But I'm not kidding when I say that she was riding this lie out until the night of reveal. As you can see, she came down a flight of stairs to reveal herself as my big. But literally minutes beforehand, she was downstairs in the living room socializing with all the girls who had already gotten their littles or weren't getting one. She didn't have her matching shirt on. I totally and completely believed she wasn't my big. Then my name was called to stand at the bottom of the stairs. I waited. I waited. And then I was told to sit back down. I sat down defeated, genuinely thinking I wasn't getting a big. Meanwhile, in classic Coop fashion (lol love you mom), she was talking to the girls in the living room and had gotten distracted and hadn't gone upstairs via another staircase to change shirts to do the reveal. Once someone reminded her to do so, she went to get ready. Eventually, they called my name again. I had asked my friend Melissa to film the reveal for me. As my big came down the stairs, her face told me it was Coop. I froze. When I heard my name being shouted to turn around, I finally snapped out of it and it all became a reality.

My big-little reveal will always be one of my fondest memories of Kappa Delta.

Our relationship continued to grow. She continued to babysit freshman me (sorry mom) but loved me anyways. I became close with her other little - my twin - Mariah, too. Mariah had also gotten a little from my pledge class, so we would all hang out with each other whenever possible. We had our own little family. #daggerfam

From crying in the car together over similar hard experiences we had gone through in our lives, to her winning Miss USU in 2018, I have countless incredible memories with her. I look up to her in every way possible. When times got hard in school and in Kappa Delta, she's the person who talked me into staying.

While there's lots of things I'd do differently in college if I had the chance, joining Kappa Delta and getting Coop as my big are two experiences I wouldn't trade for the world.

Until l8r

XOXO

B :)